What holds you back? What moves you forward?

Credit for this post goes to Crown Refs. I loved this blog and wanted to share it with you.

1. Avoidance → Courage

You avoid difficult conversations in life. On the pitch, you overlook behavior that needs attention—like persistent dissent or off-the-ball shoving—hoping it disappears. It repeats, frustration builds, and your crew inherits a bigger problem.

Build courage: Address the behavior calmly and promptly. Use the response the situation and Law require, including a sanction or card when warranted.

2. Impatience → Patience

You interrupt people or become frustrated when things take time. On the pitch, you may blow a whistle before an advantage play develops or answer a coach before hearing their question.

Build patience: Let the action provide the information you need, giving delay-and-driven decisions time to breathe. Let people finish speaking. Recognize when immediate intervention is necessary.

3. Defensiveness → Humility

Feedback feels like a personal attack. An assistant referee or crew member offers a different view on a touchline call or foul, and you start defending your decision before understanding what they saw.

Build humility: Ask, “What information do you have?” Listen, evaluate it, and make a correction when permitted. Being receptive helps the crew reach a better decision.

4. Reactivity → Composure

Someone raises their voice, and yours rises with it. A coach’s frustration from the technical area changes your tone, facial expression, or willingness to listen.

Build composure: Keep your voice and body language controlled. Respond to the actual words and behavior. You can enforce a firm boundary while remaining calm.

5. Approval seeking → Conviction

You struggle to disappoint people. On the pitch, you hesitate over an unpopular penalty call or keep explaining because a manager has not agreed with your decision.

Build conviction: Trust your preparation, make the supported decision, and explain it clearly. Someone can dislike the outcome even when you have handled it well.

6. Insecurity → Prepared confidence

You assume someone with more experience must know better. You notice a possible procedural error—like a mismanaged substitution or incorrect restart—but stay quiet because you are the newer official.

Build confidence: Prepare thoroughly and bring specific information forward respectfully. “Can we check that restart procedure?” gives the crew a chance to resolve your concern.

7. Blaming → Accountability

When something goes wrong, your first explanation points elsewhere. On video review, every missed foul becomes your assistant’s fault, a player’s simulation, or an obstructed view.

Build accountability: Identify your contribution. Could you have adjusted your diagonal, maintained proper proximity to the play, or communicated sooner? Choose an improvement you can actually make.

8. Perfectionism → Resilience

One mistake feels like proof that you are failing. You replay a missed handball in your head while the opposing counter-attack demands your immediate focus.

Build resilience: Address what can be corrected, then return to your next responsibility. Review the mistake afterward and identify a useful adjustment.

9. Rigidity → Adaptability

You need every match handled your preferred way. A last-minute venue shift, unfamiliar assistant referee, or communication system failure leaves you frustrated.

Build adaptability: Adjust your approach to the people and circumstances while keeping the Laws of the Game and match standards consistent. A different explanation or clearer pre-match briefing may solve the problem.

10. Self-centeredness → Teamwork

You focus on how you look and whether you receive top match assignments. On the pitch, you overlook a struggling assistant referee or treat their missed offside as entirely their problem.

Build teamwork: Stay aware of the crew’s needs, contribute useful information, and offer support within your responsibilities. Share credit for a well-managed match.

11. Dismissiveness → Empathy

You assume a question is a complaint or player frustration is disrespect. A captain raises a concern, and you brush it off without listening.

Build empathy: Hear the concern before assigning a motive. Acknowledge what matters, explain what you observed, and maintain the appropriate boundary.

12. Complacency → Curiosity

Experience becomes a reason to stop studying. You rely on memory, skip match footage, or dismiss feedback because you have always handled a physical challenge that way.

Build curiosity: Check the Law, revisit the video clip, and ask a precise question. Give yourself permission to learn something new about a familiar incident.

13. Procrastination → Discipline

Preparation keeps getting pushed to tomorrow. You arrive rushed, fitness conditioning stays inconsistent, and your crew has to cover gaps you should have addressed earlier.

Build discipline: Schedule manageable preparation habits: Law study, interval conditioning, recovery, and timely match communication. Consistent follow-through makes you more dependable to yourself and your referee team.

14. Distractibility → Presence

Your attention follows every interruption. On the pitch, a comment from the bench pulls your eyes away from your quadrant, or an earlier heated exchange occupies your thoughts.

Build presence: Identify your immediate responsibility and return your attention to active play. Stay aware of the match while resisting distractions that pull you away from your zone.

15. Grudge-holding → Fairness

You carry last week's frustration into today’s match. A club’s reputation or an earlier disagreement starts influencing how you interpret the next challenge.

Build fairness: Judge the current action on its merits. Apply the same standard consistently, while addressing ongoing misconduct through the proper disciplinary procedures.

16. Jealousy → Generosity

Someone else’s promotion or tournament selection feels like your rejection. You withdraw support, minimize their ability, or bring resentment into your officiating crew.

Build generosity: Recognize their work and remain a supportive crew member. Direct your own ambition toward specific fitness or positioning goals and honest conversations about your development.

Take one habit into your next match

Choose one pattern you recognize. Name the moment that usually brings it out, then decide what a better response will look like.

“I get defensive when corrected” becomes “I will hear my assistant referee’s information before explaining my view.”

Practice that response off the pitch, too. Listen fully at home. Address a concern at work. Keep a commitment when it would be easier to postpone it.

The habits we bring to the pitch influence how we referee. The habits we build through match officiating can influence who we become.

Credit for this post goes to Crown Refs. The creator of that page focuses on basketball, but the same lessons apply. I loved this blog and wanted to share it with you.